Unbelievable. It's been a little over a year since I posted. And let me tell you, a lot can happen in a year....
Looking back, a lot of good things happened: I changed jobs, my daughter got married, had some AWESOME girlfriend time and hubby time. And then, some not so good things: stress from changing jobs (but no regrets) my father-in-law got (and remained) ill, financial whoa's. A lot going on and not a lot of attention being paid to my own well-being. Eating/drinking poorly caused another diverticulitis flare-up (which is NOT pleasant). I've used excuse after excuse as to why I've been lazy.
To say that I am disappointed in myself is an understatement. It's difficult to put into words how I feel about gaining so much of the weight back. It used to be food that I would think of the minute I wake up. Now, it's "how could you have put this much weight back on?" It's SO depressing. Do I need therapy? Hypnosis? Surgery? Have my jaw wired shut?
I am so tired of trying to get into clothes that once fit, that I love. I'm not happy having to shop for bigger clothes (again). I hate the way I look (again). I hate not having a lot of energy (again).
So what needs to happen?? I need to get off my ass and get moving again. I need to track, track, TRACK all of the food I am eating (not just what fits within my points). Up my water intake. Make better choices. It all starts NOW. Well, it started yesterday.
Up at 4:15, elliptical for 20 minutes - 2 days in a row! Working on 10,000 steps a day again. Tracking EVERYTHING ~ the good, the bad and the ugly. I've been searching high and low for a Pilates or Barre class that fits into my schedule. I MISS those classes. It's all a start. We all have to start (or re-start) somewhere. That I am choosing to start at the beginning of the holiday season MIGHT be a mistake. Or it might be a blessing. To not have my head screwed on tightly at the beginning might just make this "situation" worse.
For several months, I have "played" with the same pound. Up and down. For. Months... Fingers crossed that this week will be the beginning of my downhill slide.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Long Time, No Hear
Is it possible that it's been 7 months since I have posted?!? Wow. That's just plain terrible. Bad Blogger.
To say that I have fallen off the wagon is a slight exaggeration. I have put some of the weight back on, which is disappointing. 15 pounds to be exact from this time last year (25 pounds since last summer). It sure goes on easily! Taking it off, not so much.
I would like to say "today is a new day". A new day to say NO to chocolate and YES to an apple (no, really, I just did that).
Yesterday, I received a message from a friend, M, I have known since I was 12 or 13. Her message made me cry. She said that I inspired her to lose weight and get healthy. I was so touched. And embarrassed. Because I put weight back on. I feel like I have let down first of all myself but also people around me who I have encouraged (or inspired, as she said).
To have someone call me an inspiration made me feel like a fraud. I had to be reminded that I HAVE kept off [mostly] 40 pounds all this time. I need to keep that in mind. I know what needs to be done and have the tools to do it. It's just so hard.
In the beginning it was SO easy. I was motivated and driven and, let's face it, a whole lot of crazy. If I could get some of that back I would be so happy.
So I need a new motivation. My daughters wedding. I INTEND to look freaking awesome. I am challenging myself here and now. Get this 25 off in the next 9 months.
Here we go....
And thanks, M, for the kick in the pants I needed.
To say that I have fallen off the wagon is a slight exaggeration. I have put some of the weight back on, which is disappointing. 15 pounds to be exact from this time last year (25 pounds since last summer). It sure goes on easily! Taking it off, not so much.
I would like to say "today is a new day". A new day to say NO to chocolate and YES to an apple (no, really, I just did that).
Yesterday, I received a message from a friend, M, I have known since I was 12 or 13. Her message made me cry. She said that I inspired her to lose weight and get healthy. I was so touched. And embarrassed. Because I put weight back on. I feel like I have let down first of all myself but also people around me who I have encouraged (or inspired, as she said).
To have someone call me an inspiration made me feel like a fraud. I had to be reminded that I HAVE kept off [mostly] 40 pounds all this time. I need to keep that in mind. I know what needs to be done and have the tools to do it. It's just so hard.
In the beginning it was SO easy. I was motivated and driven and, let's face it, a whole lot of crazy. If I could get some of that back I would be so happy.
So I need a new motivation. My daughters wedding. I INTEND to look freaking awesome. I am challenging myself here and now. Get this 25 off in the next 9 months.
Here we go....
And thanks, M, for the kick in the pants I needed.
Monday, April 3, 2017
I know, I know
Where have I been? Well, I've been here. But not really. And that's very evident in my weight tracker. I am done with excuses. I am done with cheats and sneaks and half-ass tracking.
I'm in it to win it.
Starting today.
Lately, I have been using "well, that's life" as a reason to not be stricter. Yes, things come up, stuff happens and sometimes food choices are not in my control. BUT, I CAN control what I do with those food choices, when stuff comes up and things happen. I CAN pick through the bad food and find something good. If not - one word comes to mind moderation.
I took the traveling journal (aka "the lucky journal" to some) this week. The idea is to track what you eat and how much you exercise in writing with like a pencil. To me, it's old school. I track everything on my phone. We'll see just how lucky this traveling lucky journal is. I am tracking in both places.
I am not happy that weight has crept back on. I am certainly not happy that the really cute pants I bought last summer are SUPER tight and not at all flattering. I'm really, really unhappy that I had to BUY a few pairs of pants just get me through. Ugh. If that isn't incentive enough, I don't know what is.
PLUS, in 4 months, we are going to Nashville. I'd like to be able to wear cute, fun clothes while we are there. I know what needs to be done. Just like Nike...
...Just do it.
I'm in it to win it.
Starting today.
Lately, I have been using "well, that's life" as a reason to not be stricter. Yes, things come up, stuff happens and sometimes food choices are not in my control. BUT, I CAN control what I do with those food choices, when stuff comes up and things happen. I CAN pick through the bad food and find something good. If not - one word comes to mind moderation.
I took the traveling journal (aka "the lucky journal" to some) this week. The idea is to track what you eat and how much you exercise in writing with like a pencil. To me, it's old school. I track everything on my phone. We'll see just how lucky this traveling lucky journal is. I am tracking in both places.
I am not happy that weight has crept back on. I am certainly not happy that the really cute pants I bought last summer are SUPER tight and not at all flattering. I'm really, really unhappy that I had to BUY a few pairs of pants just get me through. Ugh. If that isn't incentive enough, I don't know what is.
PLUS, in 4 months, we are going to Nashville. I'd like to be able to wear cute, fun clothes while we are there. I know what needs to be done. Just like Nike...
...Just do it.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Tragedy
Something terrible has happened. It was mostly avoidable. I could've said no thank you. I could've walked away. But I didn't. And now...now I am the owner of a box of Girl Scout cookies.
<gasp>
They are safely tucked away about 4 feet away. In an effort to NOT eat another one, I ate some of the yummy Weight Watchers Cinna-licious Swirl crunchy snack. But who are we kidding??? I can actually hear them calling my name from inside the baggie that's inside the drawer. The pull is too great...
Think about it. They are only out a short period of time. So, if I indulge a little, is it really a crime against WW? Nope. I will enjoy every crunchy bite. And when they're gone, they're gone. And I'm good again.
Until Nabisco's come back with the Fruity Pebble Oreo's. Then all bets are off!
<gasp>
They are safely tucked away about 4 feet away. In an effort to NOT eat another one, I ate some of the yummy Weight Watchers Cinna-licious Swirl crunchy snack. But who are we kidding??? I can actually hear them calling my name from inside the baggie that's inside the drawer. The pull is too great...
Must.
Have.
Another.
Think about it. They are only out a short period of time. So, if I indulge a little, is it really a crime against WW? Nope. I will enjoy every crunchy bite. And when they're gone, they're gone. And I'm good again.
Until Nabisco's come back with the Fruity Pebble Oreo's. Then all bets are off!
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Like Oprah Says...
..."If not now, when?" Today I bit the bullet and signed up for a tour of a woman's gym. I love my elliptical and I love my weekly Pilates class but I am just not feeling that it's enough. Depending on how the tour goes and - of course - the cost I will decide whether it's within our budget.
2 years ago when I began this journey, I was able to do a mere 15 minutes at a slow speed on the elliptical. Now, I can whip out 30 minutes with no problem. And now I'm almost CRAVING more exercise! Say what?!?!?
That's right. It's coming up on my 2 year anniversary. Yes, I thought for sure by now I would be at goal weight. Yes, I have been discouraged and upset. But NO! I haven't quit and I haven't given up. I'm going to get there. It's just harder than I expected. I am reminded constantly at how far I have come. I have managed to keep 50 pounds off. But those last damn (pardon my French) 10 pounds are hanging on for dear life.
So. I'm going to try to shake things up a little bit. See if I can trick my body into losing again. I have to reach deep and find my resolve to quit sneaking sweets. Not sure what's wrong with me but I haven't been able to say no too much. Time of the year? Time of the month? Just because it's Wednesday? Doesn't seem to matter. I want it.
Things have to change. Now.
2 years ago when I began this journey, I was able to do a mere 15 minutes at a slow speed on the elliptical. Now, I can whip out 30 minutes with no problem. And now I'm almost CRAVING more exercise! Say what?!?!?
That's right. It's coming up on my 2 year anniversary. Yes, I thought for sure by now I would be at goal weight. Yes, I have been discouraged and upset. But NO! I haven't quit and I haven't given up. I'm going to get there. It's just harder than I expected. I am reminded constantly at how far I have come. I have managed to keep 50 pounds off. But those last damn (pardon my French) 10 pounds are hanging on for dear life.
So. I'm going to try to shake things up a little bit. See if I can trick my body into losing again. I have to reach deep and find my resolve to quit sneaking sweets. Not sure what's wrong with me but I haven't been able to say no too much. Time of the year? Time of the month? Just because it's Wednesday? Doesn't seem to matter. I want it.
Things have to change. Now.
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