Reboot

Unbelievable.  It's been a little over a year since I posted.  And let me tell you, a lot can happen in a year....

Looking back, a lot of good things happened: I changed jobs, my daughter got married, had some AWESOME girlfriend time and hubby time. And then, some not so good things:  stress from changing jobs (but no regrets) my father-in-law got (and remained) ill, financial whoa's.  A lot going on and not a lot of attention being paid to my own well-being.  Eating/drinking poorly caused another diverticulitis flare-up (which is NOT pleasant).  I've used excuse after excuse as to why I've been lazy.  

To say that I am disappointed in myself is an understatement.  It's difficult to put into words how I feel about gaining so much of the weight back.  It used to be food that I would think of the minute I wake up.  Now, it's "how could you have put this much weight back on?"  It's SO depressing.  Do I need therapy?  Hypnosis?  Surgery? Have my jaw wired shut?  

I am so tired of trying to get into clothes that once fit, that I love.  I'm not happy having to shop for bigger clothes (again).  I hate the way I look (again).  I hate not having a lot of energy (again).

So what needs to happen??  I need to get off my ass and get moving again.  I need to track, track, TRACK all of the food I am eating (not just what fits within my points). Up my water intake. Make better choices. It all starts NOW.  Well, it started yesterday.

Up at 4:15, elliptical for 20 minutes - 2 days in a row!  Working on 10,000 steps a day again.  Tracking EVERYTHING ~ the good, the bad and the ugly.  I've been searching high and low for a Pilates or Barre class that fits into my schedule.  I MISS those classes.  It's all a start.  We all have to start (or re-start) somewhere.  That I am choosing to start at the beginning of the holiday season MIGHT be a mistake.  Or it might be a blessing.  To not have my head screwed on tightly at the beginning might just make this "situation" worse. 

For several months, I have "played" with the same pound.  Up and down.  For.  Months... Fingers crossed that this week will be the beginning of my downhill slide.  

Long Time, No Hear

Is it possible that it's been 7 months since I have posted?!?  Wow.  That's just plain terrible.  Bad Blogger.  

To say that I have fallen off the wagon is a slight exaggeration.  I have put some of the weight back on, which is disappointing. 15 pounds to be exact from this time last year (25 pounds since last summer).  It sure goes on easily!  Taking it off, not so much.

I would like to say "today is a new day".  A new day to say NO to chocolate and YES to an apple (no, really, I just did that).  

Yesterday, I received a message from a friend, M,  I have known since I was 12 or 13.  Her message made me cry.  She said that I inspired her to lose weight and get healthy.  I was so touched.  And embarrassed.  Because I put weight back on.  I feel like I have let down first of all myself but also people around me who I have encouraged (or inspired, as she said). 

To have someone call me an inspiration made me feel like a fraud.  I had to be reminded that I HAVE kept off [mostly] 40 pounds all this time.  I need to keep that in mind.  I know what needs to be done and have the tools to do it.  It's just so hard. 

In the beginning it was SO easy.  I was motivated and driven and, let's face it, a whole lot of crazy.  If I could get some of that back I would be so happy.  

So I need a new motivation.  My daughters wedding.  I INTEND to look freaking awesome.  I am challenging myself here and now.  Get this 25 off in the next 9 months.  

Here we go....

And thanks, M, for the kick in the pants I needed. 

I know, I know

Where have I been?  Well, I've been here.  But not really.  And that's very evident in my weight tracker.  I am done with excuses.  I am done with cheats and sneaks and half-ass tracking.

I'm in it to win it.

Starting today.  

Lately, I have been using "well, that's life" as a reason to not be stricter.  Yes, things come up, stuff happens and sometimes food choices are not in my control.  BUT, I CAN control what I do with those food choices, when stuff comes up and things happen.  I CAN pick through the bad food and find something good.  If not - one word comes to mind moderation.

I took the traveling journal (aka "the lucky journal" to some) this week.  The idea is to track what you eat and how much you exercise in writing with like a pencil.  To me, it's old school.  I track everything on my phone.  We'll see just how lucky this traveling lucky journal is. I am tracking in both places.

I am not happy that weight has crept back on.  I am certainly not happy that the really cute pants I bought last summer are SUPER tight and not at all flattering.  I'm really, really unhappy that I had to BUY a few pairs of pants just get me through.  Ugh.  If that isn't incentive enough, I don't know what is.  

PLUS, in 4 months, we are going to Nashville.  I'd like to be able to wear cute, fun clothes while we are there.  I know what needs to be done.  Just like Nike...

...Just do it.

Tragedy

Something terrible has happened.  It was mostly avoidable.  I could've said no thank you.  I could've walked away.  But I didn't.  And now...now I am the owner of a box of Girl Scout cookies.  

<gasp>

They are safely tucked away about 4 feet away.  In an effort to NOT eat another one, I ate some of the yummy Weight Watchers Cinna-licious Swirl crunchy snack.  But who are we kidding???  I can actually hear them calling my name from inside the baggie that's inside the drawer.  The pull is too great...

Must.

Have.

Another.

Think about it.  They are only out a short period of time.  So, if I indulge a little, is it really a crime against WW?  Nope.  I will enjoy every crunchy bite.  And when they're gone, they're gone.  And I'm good again.  

Until Nabisco's come back with the Fruity Pebble Oreo's.  Then all bets are off!

Snaccident

Truth

Like Oprah Says...

..."If not now, when?"  Today I bit the bullet and signed up for a tour of a woman's gym.  I love my elliptical and I love my weekly Pilates class but I am just not feeling that it's enough. Depending on how the tour goes and - of course - the cost I will decide whether it's within our budget.  

2 years ago when I began this journey, I was able to do a mere 15 minutes at a slow speed on the elliptical.  Now, I can whip out 30 minutes with no problem.   And now I'm almost CRAVING more exercise!  Say what?!?!?  

That's right.  It's coming up on my 2 year anniversary.  Yes, I thought for sure by now I would be at goal weight.  Yes, I have been discouraged and upset. But NO!  I haven't quit and I haven't given up.  I'm going to get there.  It's just harder than I expected.  I am reminded constantly at how far I have come.  I have managed to keep 50 pounds off.  But those last damn (pardon my French) 10 pounds are hanging on for dear life.

So.  I'm going to try to shake things up a little bit.  See if I can trick my body into losing again.  I have to reach deep and find my resolve to quit sneaking sweets.  Not sure what's wrong with me but I haven't been able to say no too much.  Time of the year?  Time of the month?  Just because it's Wednesday?  Doesn't seem to matter.  I want it.  

Things have to change.  Now.

Happy 2017!

It's a new year!  A clean slate.  A great time to reevaluate goals and how to best achieve them.  I really don't think setting resolutions work.  It's unnecessary pressure.  So, let's use the word commitment.  Unless you're have commitment phobia.  

I really enjoyed the holidays.  I know too much because I can feel it.  It's not just my pants are a little snug, but in general I just didn't feel "good".  Sure I still exercised as much as I could.  But, I ate foods I said goodbye to a long time ago.  I fell face first into a bag of my favorite potato chips.  I sucked down a peppermint milkshake from Chick-Fil-A without batting an eye.  I didn't say "no" to much.  I drank more adult beverages than I have in a long time.  In other words, I gave into the holiday spirit.  And now it's time to change my ways and recommit.

True confession time - I didn't track.  At all.  Mostly because I was lazy but also because I felt guilty about what I was eating/drinking. And honestly most of the time I didn't care.  Even though I KNEW I was losing control and was possibly getting farther away from my goal. I was kind of glad to miss WW last weekend because I know it's going to be u-g-l-y.  

I am SO fortunate to have so many good friends and my family to support me.  I couldn't do it without them.  

I am now tracking everything (good and bad).  I am exercising.  I am going to really TRY to get at least closer to my goal weight by my birthday. 84 more days!

Let's do this!

Mindset

Ever have someone tell you that you have to take of yourself before you can help others?  Or how about you can't help someone who can't help themselves?  I have heard these words and have said them. 

At this time of the year, it's easy to lose track of yourself.  For me, I am busy trying to make Christmas magical for my family, while working full time and still performing my day-to-day "duties" at home.  This is life.  And sometimes life just gets in the way of what should happen.  

I should be on the elliptical every single day and taking a walk after dinner.  I should be making better food choices when I am on the fly.  I should be making sure I am getting plenty of rest.  But are these things always happening?  Not always.  Because life is getting in the way.

So, how do I change that?  Well, first I have to change my mindset.  I need to "stay the course" and cut myself some slack (but not a lot). Easier said then done, right?  

Mindset.  I hear that a lot at work. By definition, it is "a set of assumptions, methods or notations held by one or more people or groups of people that is so established that it creates a powerful incentive within these people or groups to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviors, choices or tools"  Isn't that speaking to Weight Watchers?  It's a method held by a group of us who are trying to change our relationship(s) with food - adopting better behaviors using tools provided to us by Weight Watchers.  At least that's my interpretation.

Making the change has to be within ourselves.  No one can MAKE you take care of yourself.  No one can help you if you don't want to help your self.  Only you can make up your own mind.  

Grateful

The holidays are upon us.  Thanksgiving is tomorrow; a time to reflect on what we are thankful and grateful for.  

Instead of freaking out the possibility of overeating, like so many of us weight watchers will do, I have decided to be thankful that we have the means to possibly overeat because it means that we have the means to put food on our table.

I grumbled a lot about not wanting to cook for 3 and being mad that my daughter threw a fit that she wasn't getting "Thanksgiving food" when I told her I wanted to go out.  Instead I should've been grateful that a) she wants to spend the holiday at home with us and b) we can afford the beautiful meal we will serve.  So, now WE are cooking.  All 3 of us have a duty.

The weight watcher in me is a bit nervous about overeating.  I am going to try everything in my power not to overdue it.  And I am hoping that my annual black Friday shopping trip (all that moving around and walking) will help.

We have had a lot of stress in our lives with family being ill and financial burdens.  And holidays in general tend to be stressful with hustling around - decorating, shopping, baking, eating.  We have to keep in mind that it's the season to be JOLLY.

I'm Back

Yes, I know.  It's been a long time. I've hit a bit of a rough patch.  But I have not given up.  I am still fighting the good fight.  I have tried not to let a slip turn into a slide.  It's hard to believe that I was just 2 pounds away from goal weight just 3 months ago.  I am now 10 pounds away.  I am disappointed with myself.

Losing weight is hard.  In the beginning it was SO easy.  The pounds just dropped off.  I weigh now what I did in January!!  For 10 months I have been struggling.  Stress has played a HUGE part lately.  When I am stressed and overwhelmed, I tend to eat not so healthy and I certainly don't feel like exercising (even though I know in my brain exercising would make me feel better).  

Not really sure what the answer is.  Keeping the course?  Staying on track?  Don't let a slip turn into a slide?  Certainly all these things will help.  (But so would having my jaw wired shut but let's be realistic).

I know most of it is that I am a bit toooooo comfortable.  A little cake here, a candy there, an "adult beverage" from time to time - all things I never allowed myself in the beginning.  Maybe THAT'S the solution.  I need to go back to my basics.  And maybe go back to being simply crazy.

Hey - it worked before... 

White Out!

Last night, after I carefully measured out the very yummy Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes (1/4 cup, thank you very much) and after I the licked the spoon, I was wondering...has anyone else ever noticed that everything white is yummy yet "forbidden"?  I mean, think about it - white bread, white rice, white potatoes, pasta, White Castle.  Oops.  I know you know what I am talking about.  We associate these things with starches.  And starches are bad.  Are they not?  Some starchy veggies (i.e. potatoes) are low in fat but high in carbs.  BUT, they are the right kind of carbs.  Not the chips, crackers, cookies kind of "bad" (forbidden?) carbs.

Within reason, nothing is really forbidden.  OK, maybe White Castle should be.  But, if you want to have a piece of white bread, for goodness sake - have it.  But, have one.  Not half a loaf. It's common sense, folks.  Not rocket science.  You can't deprive yourself of all the things you love.  I can take or leave rice but I do love mashed potatoes! Carefully measured, I can have them any time I want to. 

When people ask me "oooo - can you eat that on WW?" I try not to get mad or offended.  Instead, I try to educate.  Yes, I can have anything I want on WW.  Just within reason.  

I promised myself I wasn't going to whine too much about the fact that the scale is going in the wrong direction.  Instead, I am going to focus on getting those pounds off.  Let's say by Christmas.  

Happy week!

Weekend Warrior

If it weren't for the weekends, I'd be there.  I would be at goal weight.

I know in my heart of hearts, this is true.  Saturday's have always been a relaxed day...the day I weigh in and know in my mind that I have a whole week to repair what I might do/eat/drink.  Of course I am still working on losing the big gain of 3.6 pounds from the camping weekend (well, I don't know for sure if that's the only cause but that's what I am going with).  You remember - the 3 days eating and drinking binge, the loss of my mind and the terrible price I paid to play hard.

Lately, Saturday cheat has become Saturday/Sunday cheats.  Well, that just won't do. Things have to change.  And so, I made it happen.  I was mostly good on Saturday and really good on Sunday.  AND, I have kicked my own butt back into gear with exercising. 

I am recommitting myself to exercising AT LEAST 4 days a week and getting 10,000 steps a day in.  I have recommitted to honestly tracking.  I am back to focusing on my journey.  

I'm looking forward to cooler days.  Days when we can ride our bikes, take longer walks, play more in the yard.  Fall is my favorite season.  I will miss all the yummy summer veggies but will find new and exciting fall/winter veggies.  

These last 5 pounds will not beat me, I will not be undone.

THIS is why

It's the moment you find that perfect shirt, the one you have been looking high and low for - there it is.  4 of them.  All. Size. Small.  You're crushed.  What's a girl to do?  Well, if you are me, you try it on anyway.  And guess what - IT FIT.  So, I bought it.  

It's that moment when I am like, um okay.  This is why I continue on my journey.  Never mind that I feel better and am much healthier.  I AM WEARING A SIZE SMALL SHIRT.

Yea, I have told everyone in the office that I'm wearing a small.  Because I am damn proud.  

I have been beating myself up because I have gotten off track.  I know I shouldn't but it's hard.  Life happens, I know.  But so far, this has come so easy for me.  And so many people are proud of me (including myself), I am scared to disappoint.  Sometimes it's just a lot of pressure to succeed.  And when I stumble, I feel let down.  

So what have I changed?  Well, for one thing, I am exercising again.  I didn't realize how much I missed it until I started again.  And, I'm trying super hard not to cheat.  I am re-committing myself to getting 10,000 steps a day. 

I will get there.  This I know.  I have picked myself up (again) and brushed myself off (again) and gotten back on track (AGAIN).  

One thing I have proven myself is that I am a winner.  I am winning.  When I cross that line, I will know that I earned it.  And that I deserve it.  

Guilt

"Everyone has the right to be happy without feeling guilty".  Yet I feel completely guilty.  Why?  Because I am a cheater.  I cheated on WW.  In a big, ugly way. And on myself .  I cheated on the new Sheri.

I don't know what happens to my brain when I go camping.  But I saw a glimpse of the old Sheri and quite frankly, it scared the hell out of me.  I woke up feeling guilty and disappointed with myself.  I kept asking myself, "how could I have eaten that?" and "why did I drink so much?"  I had the perfect opportunity to walk and get a lot of good exercise.  But did I?  Nope.  I sat, like a blob, in my camp chair and hardly moved.  I'm not going to list all the "bad things" I consumed.  Just know that it wasn't pretty.  

I know it's going to happen from time to time.  But my goodness.  It was like my brain took a leave of absence - completely checked out.  I got caught up in having a good time.  A year ago when I was a bit TOO cuckoo and people around me were like "oh come on, you're on vacation, live a little - quit counting those chips."  I felt like I was under scrutiny.  This year I let my hair down and I feel like they weren't watching me, as much.  Does that make sense?  

Here's the thing though. Its hard to be with a group of people who all bring food to contribute to meals and be "good" with what's being offered.  I can only control but so much.  I bring to the table something healthy every time so I know that there will be at least one option for me.  I also bring healthy snacks. So I DO try.  

I do have the right to be happy.  Right?
  

Actress

"Vacation...All I Ever Wanted"

"Vacation...have to get away" (Go-Go's) 

It's vacation time! And I cannot wait.  A year ago I had a little trouble letting go when we were away because I was at the beginning of my journey.  I was so afraid of getting out of control and gaining back the weight I had lost.  

Now...I think I might have the opposite problem.  I am a little too relaxed these days.  I'm a bit cocky since I am so close to goal weight.  NOW is when I should have a tighter control.  NOW is when I should be really under control.

BUT.  But if I screw up or go off the deep end, I will just have to reign it back in when we come home and get back on track.  

My one saving grace is that I will be with my parents, who are also Weight Watchers.  That should help some.  :)  

Greek Yogurt Rage

I have never been a huge yogurt fan.  I have tried.  I mean, really tried.  I will admit that when Weight Watchers HAD yogurt, I did eat them and for the most part, liked them.  They were like a dessert (lemon and key lime pie).  But, they were discontinued.  I tried some other brands they were just "eh".   

When I was combing the shelves at the grocery store for yogurt that maybe I might like, and using the barcode scanner on my WW app, I came to the realization that not all yogurts are created the same.  One caramel yogurt was 13 points. 13!  When you think yogurt, you think healthy.  Right? Wrong.

There is a lot of sugar in yogurt. Seems to me if there is that much sugar in it, it should taste better.  Also wrong.  I bit the bullet the other night and bought a lemon Greek "Crunch" yogurt.  I'm sorry but no amount of cookie crumbles and white chocolate pieces was going to make that stuff taste better. Ew.

So, I am going to have to come to realize that I am just not a yogurt person.  Try as I might, it's just not something I will probably ever like.  And it's a shame because there is so much of it out there and the Greek stuff is all the rage.  

It will just have to rage on without me.  

WOW!

So much happening!  So much good "stuff" happening!!  

When I started this blog, I stated my "why".  First and foremost, my health.  I was heading in a direction I didn't want to be heading...diabetes.  I had terrible foot pain.  I was uncomfortable all the time.  I was so unhealthy that something had to be done.  So, I joined Weight Watchers.  And never looked back.

There were other compelling reasons too...2 family weddings, daughter's college graduation and my 30th high school reunion.  I want to not only be healthier and feel better but also wanted to look GOOD.  

Well, the last event on my "why list" was last weekend.  Many classmates were shocked, several told me many times how great I looked.  I heard someone told one of my besties "Sheri looks so great - she is like 1/2 the person she was the last time I saw her".  Another classmate sent me a message and said that I was beautiful. At least 2 people told me that I inspired them to get healthy.  During brunch, one of my friends told me that I needed to work for WW because she said "I spoke so passionately" about my weight loss.  I was and am so happy.  

I was going to skip WW Saturday just because I had so much going on with the reunion.  But I went because I needed it.  I think it might be much like people needing an AA Meeting.  And boy am I glad that I did!  Not only was I DOWN 2.2 pounds, but I also set my goal weight and I only need to lose 2 more pounds!  2.  More.  Pounds!!!  And once I maintain my goal weight for 6 weeks, I become a life time member!!!!  Free WW!  Woohoo!!!  I think that because I was not only 2 pounds down and only have 2 pounds to lose is what kept me from going off the rail this weekend.  Sure I had more adult beverages that I usually do and I ate out a bit more than normal.  But I didn't go crazy. I tried to still make good choices.   

I am so excited about this.  I am trying to be realistic that those 2 pounds might not come off this week.  That it might take a few weeks to hit the magic number.  But the light at the end of the tunnel is SO bright.  All I can say is WOW!  Go me!!  :)

On Point

As weight watcher, and having been one for a long time, I have become very good at knowing what the points are in a lot of foods. When I am fixing my breakfast and lunch, I count the points as I put the food in my lunch bag.  I have already figured out the dinners for the week so I know how many points I have left for breakfast and lunch.  And, really, I eat the same exact thing every day for lunch (at least 5 days a week).  So, it's lunch that can be juggled some.  

At the store, if I don't already know how many points are in something, I use my handy dandy scanner on the WW app. Most of the time, though, I buy the same things over and over so I know the points. Sometimes I know how many points are in something but I buy them anyway (like Fruity Crisp Oreos). Ha ha!  

Of course there are times that you eat first, figure out points later. That's never a good thing to do. It's irresponsible. But it does happen. You learn from your mistakes. Or not. But hopefully you do.  

And, a word to the wise.  Even if a recipe LOOKS healthy, don't take that for face value.  Figure out the points using the recipe builder.  Otherwise you will be in for a shock!  

In case you were wondering...there are:

41 points in the Sonic boom box

Roughly 32 points in the $5 lunch Dairy Queen