"Everyone has the right to be happy without feeling guilty". Yet I feel completely guilty. Why? Because I am a cheater. I cheated on WW. In a big, ugly way. And on myself . I cheated on the new Sheri.
I don't know what happens to my brain when I go camping. But I saw a glimpse of the old Sheri and quite frankly, it scared the hell out of me. I woke up feeling guilty and disappointed with myself. I kept asking myself, "how could I have eaten that?" and "why did I drink so much?" I had the perfect opportunity to walk and get a lot of good exercise. But did I? Nope. I sat, like a blob, in my camp chair and hardly moved. I'm not going to list all the "bad things" I consumed. Just know that it wasn't pretty.
I know it's going to happen from time to time. But my goodness. It was like my brain took a leave of absence - completely checked out. I got caught up in having a good time. A year ago when I was a bit TOO cuckoo and people around me were like "oh come on, you're on vacation, live a little - quit counting those chips." I felt like I was under scrutiny. This year I let my hair down and I feel like they weren't watching me, as much. Does that make sense?
Here's the thing though. Its hard to be with a group of people who all bring food to contribute to meals and be "good" with what's being offered. I can only control but so much. I bring to the table something healthy every time so I know that there will be at least one option for me. I also bring healthy snacks. So I DO try.
I do have the right to be happy. Right?