I am ashamed. I let myself down. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the weight gain. I know that I totally earned that terrible number on the scale. Too much Miami. Too much Thanksgiving. Too much fun. I knew that I was going to be up - I could feel it. I just couldn't believe how much. And so now, I will be undoing all that fun stuff. It's just NOT worth it!
I was able to celebrate my 50+ loss with my regular Saturday group at WW. But to me it didn't feel like much of a celebration because I was up so much. I really thought about telling my leader to keep my 50 pound charm until I was back there. Instead, I shared my sorrow with my group, who all understand because we are in the same place in our lives.
At work, I heard a lot "oh, it happens" and "you have to be able to enjoy yourself", and "it's the holidays, it's bound to happen" and "don't worry, it will come back off" and all those things might be true. I just know that I can't slip even just a little. Because apparently that slip turns into a landslide. Loosely tracking DOES NOT WORK for me.
This stretch of holiday season - Thanksgiving thru New Years - will be the ultimate challenge. There will be parties and snacks and all kinds of goodies. During my walk last night, I gave myself a good talking-to. I had to recenter myself. I think my head is back in the game. I hope so at least.
Count down to 1 year with Weight Watchers and goal weight....88 days.
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